We hit a few snags along the way and had to make time to scare the neighbor kids (’tis the season!), but Death by Veggies: The Collection is finally available in ebook format! This collection contains the first four DBV stories – Lettuce Prey, Sprouted, Jack, and Beet It, and also the very latest story that you can currently only get in this collection – 24 Carrots!
Get your copy today for $4.99 at any of these online stores (and probably a few more), or read on for an excerpt from 24 Carrots, and then go get your copy!
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | Smashwords | Google Play
Will there be more DBV stories? Absolutely. This is only the beginning – I have an entire produce section to work my way through. But I’m going to finish this juicy Gruesome Gully novel I’m working on first. Priorities.
Read on for an exclusive excerpt from 24 Carrots – arguably one of my best DBV stories yet!
Excerpt
Kira Featherstone stood at her kitchen sink washing her breakfast dishes, watching the late August sun rise through the window overlooking her backyard. Her 60-year-old joints complained a bit, but the warm water and rote motion was good for keeping them flexible.
It looked to be a beautiful day as she watched the wild gray rabbits who lived under her shed graze peacefully in the backyard. She loved watching them and encouraged them to stay by tossing feed pellets out in the lawn, and the occasional salt lick that she’d found at the local feed supply store. Every morning and evening she sat with them on the back deck, sometimes chatting with them about life, but mostly just enjoying the presence of such innocent, endearing creatures.
She’d “retired” three years ago to the sleepy town of Meadowlark Montana, mostly because it was so remote that if you didn’t know exactly which back roads to take and in what order, you probably weren’t going to find it. It was small, with a population of a few hundred souls with a “to each their own” attitude, and life was slow and simple. Cell service was spotty and not really worth dealing with, and internet service was about the same, dependent on satellites that may or may not be in range.
All of which made it easy to keep a low profile, for those who preferred to do so.
And then Ted Halverson had moved in next door. Ted was a gardener. A very good gardener, or so he claimed, and she’d never met anyone so proud of growing the perfect cabbage in her life – he had a banner to that effect hanging on the front of his house. He’d moved in a year ago last spring, and had torn out most of his backyard for garden space. And then the rest of it this year, right up to the edge of Kira’s property line. Which is when the trouble had started. At first, it was seemingly good-natured comments about rabbits and their propensity for eating green things. Then frustration and polite requests for her to stop feeding them. Then the less polite insistence that she pay for half of a fence to separate the properties, and keep “her bunnies” out of his garden.
And then, the nastiness.
He had threatened several times to get rid of the rabbits himself. She had warned him every time that if he did there would be repercussions. But he didn’t seem to think that the threats of an older woman were very frightening, and sometimes he laughed at her warnings. Other times he said he’d take care of “anything with gray fur” that encroached on his prize-winning produce.
She saw him now as she wrung out the dishcloth and hung it to dry. He was moving along his side of the wood plank fence, probably weeding or harvesting. And possibly plotting the demise of the poor innocent animals having breakfast in her backyard. Or maybe the not-so-innocent one watching him from the house.
Moving away from the window, she refilled her coffee cup and went to the back door to put pellets out for the rabbits and enjoy their company for awhile. She had just put her hand on the door knob when she heard a knock at the front door.
Scowling at the sound, she turned to go back through the kitchen and living room. There wasn’t a single soul in her life who would show up unannounced at seven in the morning, which meant her neighbor was probably looking for a fight again.
When she opened the front door, there was no one there. Frowning, she stepped out on the front porch and looked around, but saw no movement anywhere. Turning to go back inside, she saw a document taped to the front of her door. Taking it down, she felt her blood pressure rising as she realized it was an invoice for all the produce supposedly ruined by the rabbits she’d harbored last month. Apparently she owed Ted two heads of cabbage, five heads of lettuce, 10 beat tops, and 24 carrots.
Shaking her head and willing herself to calm down before she did something stupid, she took the note, went in the house, and closed the door somewhat more forcefully than necessary. This needed to stop, and she was going to put the fear of something worse than God in him…after she finished her coffee.
Leaving the note on the counter and taking a deep breath, she went to the backyard and got a scoop of pellets out of the bag she left by the back door. She set her coffee on the wrought-iron table, and stepped off the deck to spread the pellets in the lawn.
That’s when she noticed the first dead rabbit. It was laying on its side and she leaned over for a closer look, noticing its neck was bent at an impossible angle. Straightening up, she looked across the yard, and saw more rabbits laying unmoving in the grass – five of them in all. She walked through the yard, checking each one, but they were all the same. All dead. All with broken necks.
Then she noticed Ted.
He was standing at the gate at the end of the fence, holding another rabbit up by the ears. His eyes met hers, and he smiled, twisting the poor bunnies neck and throwing the carcass to the ground.
“I told you if you didn’t stop feeding them, I was going to take care of it. I’ll expect payment for the produce they ruined by tonight. You got my invoice, I assume?”
Kira nodded slowly, not trusting herself to speak. Goddamn him. For killing innocent creatures, and also for ruining the good, quiet life she’d built in this quaint and near-perfect place.
He turned and walked away, swaggering with the confidence of a prison-yard bully. Kira watched him go, her mind spinning up with all sorts of sordid ideas that would probably make a normal person sick, but…she was who she was. Three years was a long time to keep one’s baser nature locked away, and a part of her was excited for the opportunity for one last grand hurrah.
The man had no idea who he was dealing with. But he was about to find out.
***
Find out how Kira gets her revenge in Death by Veggies: The Collection!
Get your copy today:
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